Everyone deserves to love and be loved
When we think of romantic relationships, one of the main things we desire from them is the intimate bond you can have with another person. Being able to grow comfortable around someone and to trust them with your most vulnerable thoughts and feelings is a beautiful thing, something we all hope for among the temporary state of online relationships. Especially with there being a huge strain on intimacy during covid and people feeling disconnected with those around them, loneliness and desire for human connection have been growing. No matter how fulfilled one might feel in their own company, there is still nothing like opening up to someone and sharing each other’s personalities on a much deeper level.
While physical intimacy is important, be that sex or simple gestures such as kissing and hand-holding, intimate talk is ultimately what makes the connection beyond physical attraction. Intimacy is not the same as sex, and while sex can build intimacy, you can easily have one without the other. Maybe intimacy comes the first time you and your partner talk until the early hours of the morning and reveal everything about each other. It’s what changes them from being someone you like into someone you trust and feel understood by. Building intimacy can be a slow process, especially if you’re not used to being so open, but it’s so important in new relationships as it truly shows whether this person is right for you. Your most vulnerable, private thoughts are a beautiful part of yourself and should be reserved for those who fully appreciate you. Everyone deserves to love and happiness no matter what they’ve been through and it’s important to seek it at your own pace.
How to have intimate talk
The main element of intimacy is honesty, which is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. It’s built through becoming comfortable enough to tell your partner everything you feel and having them listen to you. You know you’re talking intimately when you find yourself talking about things you’ve never told anyone or topics that would normally stay hidden away to come flowing out. Honesty leads to acceptance which leads to trust and having a strong emotional bond will likely improve the physical aspects of the relationship too. A great way to create intimate talk is to use the 36 Questions designed to increase closeness between people, or similarly 40 Questions that explain the importance of communication for building intimacy.
The health benefits
While intimacy may seem far of after being hurt, it’s always worth looking for again once you’ve healed. As well as making you happier, there are many health benefits to it such as reducing stress from the continuous release of “happy hormones”. Deep compassion and emotional release can effectively combat loneliness, which has become a serious problem during the pandemic. Some studies suggest that intimacy strengthens your immune system and reduces blood pressure, which ultimately makes you live longer.
It might be hard to achieve
Intimacy doesn’t appear overnight, and it depends on the people in the relationship as to how fast it comes about. For some, it’s a lot harder than others, whether due to past experiences or just from being a very private person. It’s hard when you want to connect with someone and share everything inside you but feel compelled to remain guarded over the fear of not getting the understanding you deserve. The way to deal with this is to first identify that you have a problem with intimacy and to work through the possible reasons behind it. Communicate these feelings with your partner and even consider getting professional help if you feel unable to break down these barriers. It’s all about doing what makes you comfortable and building a happy, healthy relationship with someone who supports you and appreciates you being vulnerable to them. For more tips on building intimacy with new people, read our Relationship Post Pandemic blog post on our website.