Tips for a Healthy Breakup
Breakups are painful. No matter who you are or how strong you believe you are, going through a breakup can have a serious impact on your mental and emotional health. But it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. In this article, we will look at some tips for having a healthy breakup. So, whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, this guide should make the process just a little bit easier. Don’t worry you can keep sad snacking on your fave ice cream as you read this.
Three Types of Breakups
Coming from personal experience I think it’s fair to say that there are generally three types of breakups.
The Amicable Fade Out
This type is probably the easiest to deal with. This is where both of you didn’t have a lot invested emotionally, and thus it was okay to move on from the relationship. Hey, you might even stay friends on socials or occasionally bump into each other in public. Essentially, there’s no beef here, because there never was much concern. Often these relationships are the ones that didn’t really even need to start, and as you grow more mature you learn not to even get into them to begin with.
The Voldemort, Never Mention Their Name Again
Yeah, this probably started off as a seemingly good relationship because in hindsight it was toxic all along. As you both grew as people, the unhealthy dynamic became clearer and the only direction of this relationship was going south. Despite the best intentions to break up amicably, this definitely did not stick the landing. Usually relationships like this resort to off-and-on breakups, which is why the only recourse is to part for good! There may be residual anger and resentment, but we promise you this will turn into relief, as you realize you actually dodged a bullet by breaking up.
Better off as Friends
Usually, when this type of split happens, there is a mention of being friends from one person, sometimes from both. You both recognize the dynamic is better as friends, without the need for a sexual or romantic connection. This is by far the best of the three types because you don’t really lose anything. In fact, you gain a close friend. Of course, the good friend dynamic can take a little while. But with some courtesy and patience, you will find a new connection that starts to blossom and a friend that has your back wanting you to find a better match.
Is It Time to Move On From Your Relationship?
It can be difficult to determine when it is time to end a relationship. If you're having trouble deciding, here are some signs that it's time to let it go. Heavy emphasis though that not every relationship’s struggles are one size fits all. Context matters. We urge you to communicate with your partner or a professional before you start looking for red flags anywhere and everywhere.
- You're dissatisfied
- Fights always pop-up
- Always justifying their actions to yourself
- You're not developing/growth is hindered
- You’re trying too hard/effort feels one-sided
- It’s always about the other person
- You’re being disrespected
- Different fundamental values and beliefs
- Living in the past more than the present
- When the relationship brings you more pain than joy
How to Recover From a Breakup
There is no one way to recover from heartbreak. There is no one way to experience or heal from a breakup. However, there are some general guidelines that can assist you on your path to recovery.
1. Avoid rebound relationships.
There's a reason why they're a cliche: rebounds offer a quick boost that’ll make you feel sexy or worthwhile, temporarily. Rebound relationships rarely work out and frequently complicate the healing process. If you are in a rebound relationship, you should take a step back and reevaluate your situation. Remember you may be using a rebound to bounce back, but there are other people’s very real feelings on the line.
2. Do something for yourself.
Focus on creating new memories and stray from your daily routine. This could be a new hobby, a vacation, or simply doing something that makes you happy. Doing something for yourself will remind you that you are valuable and deserve to be happy and as well remind you that your true happiness lies within you.
3. Reach out to your other relationships.
There’s so much hype surrounding romantic love, but remember there were people that came before and who would be there after your breakup. This is the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with good friends you may not have seen as much while you were paired off. If you've neglected your pals or family members, ask them to try out those new places with you or pick back up on traditions you had that may have fallen by the wayside. It's hard to wallow when you're making new memories with people who love you.
4. Don’t make impulsive decisions
Look, we get it. After a breakup, you want your big transformation, your revenge dress moment per se, and that’s fine, but sometimes doing something drastic may be your coping mechanism. For instance, getting bangs (step away from the scissors please) maybe you are trying to find a way to avoid feeling those painful emotions that come with losing someone you loved. Acknowledge the hurt and understand that being a responsible person means being willing to go into the pain in order to truly recover.
Remember that you are not alone; millions of people have experienced breakups and survived it. You can as well survive it if only you can take a bold step to relieve your heart from aching as your happiness matters most and only you can give the pure peace of mind you can ever ask for. Also, remember to do yourself a big favor by fleeing away from toxic relationships when you foresee one as research has shown that no amount of effort has proved to be effective in managing a toxic relationship but a dead end.