Kissing, snogging, making out, frenching, locking lips...whatever you call it, it’s one of those underrated intimate experiences. Once you start having sex, it seems that kissing can get cut down in favour of other arousing activities…but it doesn’t have to be that way. Making out is often seen as a great means to spark responsive desire, but kissing on its own can be just as pleasurable as sex. Yep, just said that because sex isn’t the be-all and end-all. Exploring other senses and erogenous zones can help improve both sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy.
So, If you want a fool-proof guide to becoming a better kisser, we’ve got you covered with the following tips and tricks.
Respect Consent
A well-timed "Can I kiss you?" is a swoon-worthy move every single time. Why? Because it shows that you care about your partner's boundaries and don't want to do anything they're not ready for. This also helps you avoid the cringe of slobbering over someone that didn’t ask for the onslaught of tongue.
Choose a Comfortable Setting
Time + place is key! Maybe skip out on the public bathroom or car park (It won’t end up like a cheesy movie scene, trust). Find a place where you can concentrate on the matter at hand so you both can just get lost in each other. If you want to elevate the mood, consider lighting a few candles or turning on some romantic music.
Keep Your Breath Fresh
Another important tip for how to kiss someone is as simple as these two words: fresh breath. You don't want to be up close and personal to someone's face only to find that their mouth smells, you know, not great. You can suck on a piece of sugarless candy or chew sugarless gum to help stimulate saliva flow. Your saliva will help to wash away food debris and bacteria that cause bad breath. Also, using lip balm is not imperative…but if you do find yourself with chapped lips, then it’s a good idea to have some on you. Never hurts to have soft, plush lips ready for kissing.
Draw Out the Anticipation
Before kissing, lean in and swipe your lips past theirs, slowly and lightly, then pull back. If you’re feeling cheeky when getting ready to lean back in for a peck, lick, or tug, build up some anticipation by pulling back a half-inch and smiling. Run your hands through each other's hair, touch each other's faces and bodies. Kiss other parts of their face before going toward their lips. Try to keep teasing each other like this until you can't take it anymore.
Keep Your Eyes Closed
No need to close your peepers tightly, but just gently allow your eyes to fall shut as your lips touch and you start making out. If you occasionally open them that is okay, in fact, occasional eye contact as you draw away from each other between kisses can be really sexy. But do not keep your eyes open and stare the whole time while making out…that can end up being awkward.
Take Turns Leading
Follow your intuition, and change things up. Follow their lead occasionally, and then take the lead yourself. Think of this as mirroring each other.
Try things like:
- Switching which side you tilt your head.
- Kiss their bottom lip instead of their top lip, and vice-versa.
- Lick their lips instead of kissing them.
Use Your Whole Body
Make kissing a full-body experience. When you first start making out with someone, you may notice that there may be some distance between your body and your partner’s. If you want to increase your make-out session’s intensity, close this gap by pressing yourself against your partner’s body. You can graze your hands over their arms and legs. Grind your hips against theirs if that's something you're both comfortable with. This physical contact can bring both you and your partner’s attention to your bodies rather than just your lips and can be an easy, comfortable way to initiate more physical contact.
Do Not Use Too Much Tongue
Please do not shove your tongue deep into their mouth…but don’t be afraid of using a little tongue either. The magic comes with balance. After a few tongueless kisses, begin lightly brushing your tongue along your partner’s lips. This move is a non-verbal way of asking permission to take the kiss further—if your partner extends their tongue in response, they are ready to begin French kissing.
However, if your partner doesn’t extend their tongue, they may not be comfortable just yet, and you should continue with your tongueless kisses. If you receive the green light to deepen the kiss, part your lips and start off by lightly finding their tongue with the tip of yours, then pull back. Then, try grazing past the tip of their tongue and pull back. Circle the tip of their tongue, then pull back. The pullback gives you time to breathe and keeps from an overflow of saliva. You can step it up by running your tongue just along the inside of their upper lip or pull a quick lick under their top lip in a sort of come-here manoeuvre.
Don’t Nibble—Tug
Take your partner's bottom lip between your front teeth, and give a gentle tug. If they like a bit of a sassy bite, just make sure you’re not taking a chomp.
Let Your Hands Explore
What do kissing and dancing have in common – Constantly wondering, what do I do with my hands? Your hands are a powerful tool that you can use to give your partner pleasure during a make-out session. Caress, squeeze, or grip your partner’s face, jaw, lower back, upper back, hips, chest, or neck with varying levels of pressure to stimulate these erogenous zones. Run your fingers through their hair or lightly tug to stimulate their scalp. If you know your partner is comfortable, you can also caress their glutes, chest, or genitals. It’s important to pay attention to your partner’s comfort levels when using your hands—especially if you’re in a new relationship.
Move Away From Their Lips
Take a breather and explore. Kissing doesn't have to be limited to mouth-on-mouth. During the session, let your mouth move away from your partner’s lips to kiss down their jawline, along their cheeks, against the soft spot behind the earlobe, down their neck, or across the little dip in the collarbone. If you want to give your partner a hickey (a bruise-like spot that remains after you suck on their skin), ask permission first—hickies can last for several days, and your partner may not want one in a visible place.
Re-Route a Bad Kisser
Pause an aggressive kisser by leaning back, placing a hand gently on their collarbone, and approaching very slowly. Pull back, just enough so you can whisper, and say, "I like this." Proceed with what you'd want to be done to you and fingers crossed they mirror.
Get Creative
Making out can be an enjoyable activity all on its own, without it progressing to anything further. If you and your partner don’t want to move on to more intimate activities, simply make out until you both feel satisfied. Dry-hump, grope each other, experiment with temperature play, add dirty talk — the sky’s the limit. However, making out can also be a powerful part of foreplay. If you and your partner are in the mood to transition to sexy time, just remember to have your lube on hand.